Our Counseling Guru

Naturally, since we are getting married in June, Kyle and I have been attending pre-marital counseling at our church in Winfield. We really enjoy our therapist and I normally walk away week to week intrigued by the knowledge that she passes on to us. One of the things that Kyle and I have talked about with her during the last few sessions has been enmeshment vs. disengagement -- two states that are better avoided in a marriage. Enmeshment is the idea that couples have to be together all of the time. Often times, couples who are suffering from enmeshment will claim that their significant other "completes" them and they cannot see where they end and the other person begins. The opposite of that, then, is disengagement. Couples who are disengaged from one another tend to be closed off and far from their significant other. As you can imagine, both states are damaging. Kyle and I are pretty good at spending time together and time apart and that has always been pretty important to us. Even though I am marrying Kyle, I don't want him to complete me! And I certainly do not want to live with a stranger. I want him to complement me. I want to be a better person because he is around...