The Memory of A Beginning

6.9.12. One of my favorite days. They say that little girls always dream about their weddings. Growing up I can say that I thought about my wedding a fair amount. However, the idea of getting married was so far off and so far foreign that I never really did give it serious thought until much later. I never met a person that I truly thought I could marry until I met Kyle. You see, Kyle has a particular liveliness about him. When I first met him his goofy-ness and love for life sparked a small flame in my own soul. He encouraged me to be more real -- more alive.

We dated for almost two years and got engaged on a beautiful evening in August of 2011. We spent the next ten months planning for our wedding. Many people warned me what a stress wedding planning would be, some even encouraged us to elope. However, we spent those ten months planning, expecting and anticipating a beautiful day. And it was a beautiful day. Picture this: paper lanterns, lots of lace, vintage plates, candles, icicle lights, friends, family, home-cookin, kissing, dancing and a little bit of western Kansas wind. All of those things mixed well together to bring us one of the most memorable days of our life. I remember that day, a year ago, now. No stress, just a lot of love and joy. A lot of aliveness. 

So, today we celebrate the beauty of marriage and the memory of a beginning. Happy one year anniversary to Kyle Just, the love of my life. I couldn't have made it through this past year without you. I wouldn't have wanted to. Cheers to many more years. <3 span="">

JUST an E-mail

Normally, I don't double blog. But, I HAD to share this. My mom sent me a random e-mail today that she still had in her inbox (for some reason????). I wrote this to her four years ago, right after I moved to Winfield to go to college. It features a special character! Let's just say it's really funny to see how things work out. Here it is. Just to put things in context -- I am e-mailing my mom back about some questions and about coming home for fall break.

Hello!

The test was iffy. But I studied for it, and the things that I didn't know weren't even in my study guide, so I don't feel so bad. Anyway, all together, I think I at least did adequate. Not perfect, but definately not horrible, I don't think, at least. and YES it's been raining around here since yesterday, and it's really cold. I don't mind the rain so much, I just don't like walking in it when it's freezing cold outside. It like never stops here though. Just rains. It's quite interesting, compared to Western Kansas.

and YES again, I am ready to come home and visit everyone. And relax. I am tired of all this studying and what not. It's lots of work. And, I was talking to my friend, Kyle Just. He lives in Leoti and we talked about riding home together for fall break, I figured I would ask you to save some money in gas and to have a friend to ride home with!! Except, I don't want him to go way out of his way, but he goes through Scott City, so I was going to see if Mallory would be in Scott on Friday and if I could be picked up there. Just thought I would see what's going on there. Let me know, so I can let Kyle know!

I have to have 20 hours of observation. I have like 5 and a half right now, I think. OHHH thanks for reminding me I need to e-mail Mrs. Steinmetz. DEFINATELY e-mail Erin and see if I can come visit Paige and Cole!! I want to see them before they move :(

The Cookies are good,

Molly

That's the Kyle I married!! HA! And, look at me being a whiny baby about all the work I had to do in undergrad. 

Funnies!

#MarriageandMedia

About a month ago, I wrote a blog called #MourningandMedia, it related to how social media is now a very real and big part of the mourning process when people in our world and our communities pass away. I have been wanting to make a mini-series out of this type of social media thing and gathered some new-found inspiration to write this blog. So, today I bring you, #MarriageandMedia

In the same way that social media helps our world mourn, we see the same effect when it comes to celebration. For Kyle and I, this summer is the wedding summer on steroids. We know SO many couples getting married. One of the funniest things that I have observed when my FB friends get married is the constant check-back to their profiles (Heck, yes, I do this, too!). Your own FB world tunes in to your big day by constantly refreshing the page, looking for a way to connect with you on a personal level. We hear stuff like this all the time when we are observers and even say them ourselves: "Are there any pictures of them up yet?" "Oh my gosh, look at her dress, it looks just like her!" "Have they changed their relationship status yet?" "Has she changed her last name yet?" "Where did they go on their honeymoon? Are there pictures yet?" We say all this in the name of being connected and sometimes, nosy :).

Social media is a tool we use to celebrate. So what? I think this is awesome! I love receiving messages and posts on FB talking about the wedding. However, sometimes, I think we go too far. Some couples go as far as incorporating FB into their wedding ceremony by changing their relationship status at the altar, right before their first wedded kiss. In a poll/study done by David's Bridal, they noted that nearly 50% of brides change their name between the wedding and reception. Other couples create their honeymoon album on FB while they are on their honeymoon! Isn't it a honeymoon and not a communitymoon? Send some updates here and there, but play a little hard-to-get with your FB world and spend some new time with your spouse! Upload your photos when you get back.

Now, the thing that brought me down-to-earth the most with this whole social media thing is changing my name on Facebook. Everyone keeps asking, "When are you going to change your name on Facebook, Mrs. Just?" Why does everyone want me to change my name? Why do I want to change my name? Because it is the FIRST thing that will say "Molly Just." Unlike a driver's license or any other government issued document, the first public thing that will say "Molly Just" is my Facebook page, it's instant, giving me and everyone in my FB world an accomplished feeling. Well, until your last name is "Just." Apparently I cannot change my last name because "Just" violates FB name standards. Whatever that means. So, in order to change my name online, I must upload a copy of a government issued I.D. I think Facebook wins this one. In the meantime, I will enjoy being "Molly Komlofske" online until some sort of identification comes in.Click on the screen shot below.

Our Counseling Guru

Naturally, since we are getting married in June, Kyle and I have been attending pre-marital counseling at our church in Winfield. We really enjoy our therapist and I normally walk away week to week intrigued by the knowledge that she passes on to us. One of the things that Kyle and I have talked about with her during the last few sessions has been enmeshment vs. disengagement -- two states that are better avoided in a marriage. Enmeshment is the idea that couples have to be together all of the time. Often times, couples who are suffering from enmeshment will claim that their significant other "completes" them and they cannot see where they end and the other person begins. The opposite of that, then, is disengagement. Couples who are disengaged from one another tend to be closed off and far from their significant other. As you can imagine, both states are damaging. Kyle and I are pretty good at spending time together and time apart and that has always been pretty important to us. Even though I am marrying Kyle, I don't want him to complete me! And I certainly do not want to live with a stranger. I want him to complement me. I want to be a better person because he is around...

The Hunger Games

Today my lovely fiance decided to fart on me....again...probably for the millionth time ever. Then, I remembered a blog that I was going to write about him, but never did. So, here it goes.

Back in November, prior to Thanksgiving, we were in Tampa the night before we boarded our Carnival cruise (My grandparents took us on a cruise for their 50th wedding anniversary). While we were in Tampa, my whole family (cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents included) went walking downtown to find a restaurant. We found a fancy, organic pizza restaurant and all went in to order. Everyone seemed to either order something personally or we were paired up with "pizza buddies," as I like to refer to them. For some reason, I volunteered to be paired up with Kyle and my brother, Brent. Together, we would share some organic, thin-crusted pepperoni pizza. When the pizza arrived, I was talking with my parents about something and I was also waiting on a plate. The rest of this story happened in slow motion. There I am talking, and I look over to see a ton of this pizza demolished -- gone, nihil. My jaw dropped and my Maslow's Hierarchy of needs crashed. Food!!! They were totally taking it from me. Not just some of it -- all of it. So, I started yelling, "Hey! Hey! Let me have some pizza!!" So, they gave me one, small, square piece. Oh no, I wasn't having this. I demanded another piece, and then, the pizza was gone.

There I was, failing at this hunger game. So, in short, Kyle farts on me and deprives me of food. No, just kidding. I just like to give him crap. I actually really love him and am excited to marry him :). Speaking of Kyle, he just woke up from one of his notorious naps. Guess what he dreamed about? Pizza. Not kidding.