Extinguished

The event that took place in Newtown, CT last Friday has sparked a number of responses. The media is messy. That fact has caused me to think with integrity about my own response. During our drive home on Saturday I had 12 fresh hours to truly think about my response, trying to decide if this is my place to blog or not. After seeing a couple of things on Facebook, I soon decided that it needed to be.

Like I said, the media has been really messy. A couple of different things being passed around on Facebook need to be extinguished and quickly. On Friday, shortly after the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary, I saw a picture going around on Facebook that concluded that God couldn't be present at Sandy Hook on Friday because we have pushed Him out of our schools. I've seen another political post being passed around with this same message. People of God, this lie must be extinguished. 

To say that God was not present on Friday is to deny God's sovereignty. It's to deny God's kindness. This is not the God I believe we serve. I know that my own heart has been grieved by the events that took place on Friday. If we are image bearers of God himself, can you imagine how much more God must be grieved? A million times over, indeed. Do yourself a favor and don't believe that God wasn't present on Friday. I think he must have been present beyond what we can fathom and imagine. 

As you process through this event yourself I pray that you would do so with integrity. May you believe that God is so kind, grieved by the event that took place on Friday at Sandy Hook Elementary. May you believe in his sovereignty and his ability to make all things good. I only pray that my tiny voice might be heard among louder voices spreading, what I believe to be, falsities about God's character. I hope, at least, this falsity for you might be extinguished. 

#MarriageandMedia

About a month ago, I wrote a blog called #MourningandMedia, it related to how social media is now a very real and big part of the mourning process when people in our world and our communities pass away. I have been wanting to make a mini-series out of this type of social media thing and gathered some new-found inspiration to write this blog. So, today I bring you, #MarriageandMedia

In the same way that social media helps our world mourn, we see the same effect when it comes to celebration. For Kyle and I, this summer is the wedding summer on steroids. We know SO many couples getting married. One of the funniest things that I have observed when my FB friends get married is the constant check-back to their profiles (Heck, yes, I do this, too!). Your own FB world tunes in to your big day by constantly refreshing the page, looking for a way to connect with you on a personal level. We hear stuff like this all the time when we are observers and even say them ourselves: "Are there any pictures of them up yet?" "Oh my gosh, look at her dress, it looks just like her!" "Have they changed their relationship status yet?" "Has she changed her last name yet?" "Where did they go on their honeymoon? Are there pictures yet?" We say all this in the name of being connected and sometimes, nosy :).

Social media is a tool we use to celebrate. So what? I think this is awesome! I love receiving messages and posts on FB talking about the wedding. However, sometimes, I think we go too far. Some couples go as far as incorporating FB into their wedding ceremony by changing their relationship status at the altar, right before their first wedded kiss. In a poll/study done by David's Bridal, they noted that nearly 50% of brides change their name between the wedding and reception. Other couples create their honeymoon album on FB while they are on their honeymoon! Isn't it a honeymoon and not a communitymoon? Send some updates here and there, but play a little hard-to-get with your FB world and spend some new time with your spouse! Upload your photos when you get back.

Now, the thing that brought me down-to-earth the most with this whole social media thing is changing my name on Facebook. Everyone keeps asking, "When are you going to change your name on Facebook, Mrs. Just?" Why does everyone want me to change my name? Why do I want to change my name? Because it is the FIRST thing that will say "Molly Just." Unlike a driver's license or any other government issued document, the first public thing that will say "Molly Just" is my Facebook page, it's instant, giving me and everyone in my FB world an accomplished feeling. Well, until your last name is "Just." Apparently I cannot change my last name because "Just" violates FB name standards. Whatever that means. So, in order to change my name online, I must upload a copy of a government issued I.D. I think Facebook wins this one. In the meantime, I will enjoy being "Molly Komlofske" online until some sort of identification comes in.Click on the screen shot below.

#MourningandMedia

So many blogs have been written about social media in the past decade and the weight that it holds in our lives. Lately I have been thinking about social media and death. We've all seen Twitter kill Justin Beiber, Jackie Chan, etc. Ha, ha Twitter. The Beib and Chan live on! Today, I want to hit on something a bit more serious. Lately I have been evaluating the reactions that people have on social media when loved ones die. How strange it is to pull up Facebook and find your friend still well preserved online. Facebook tells you to "message him or her" or "tell him or her happy birthday." It's a strange dichotomy.

Young people now cope in a different way. Memorial groups are created on Facebook and loved one's walls are covered in truly heart-felt messages. Supportive comments are given and prayers are lifted up. #Hashtags are created. And somehow, we don't forget. A visit to a Facebook wall or group is only a click away, providing an unspoken relief to those affected by the grief, even months down the road.  

Again, a strange dichotomy. They are dead, but they are somehow alive. I think this type of coping is a new and natural part of our society, especially in the younger generation. In some way, of course, it's healthy. It's like modified journaling and somehow social media connects us in more than just one way back to a person. At the same time, we cannot forget the importance of stepping out into community and being healthy that way. We can't forget what it means for us, psychologically, to talk real words with people in the flesh. We must remember that sitting around and sharing memories is just as important as sharing them on Facebook, even more so, in my opinion. 

In my mind, there are two things to glean from this. 1. Social media opens up a new way to cope and that can be a really great thing. 2. Psychologically, we must help prepare people to deal with mourning in an even greater way. Part of that includes being present for one another.