A Novel Idea

A mock tablescape -- we were trying to get a feel for the real thing!

When Kyle and I got engaged on August 6, 2011, I knew I wanted to plan the wedding of the 2012 Western Kansas summer! They say that girls dream of their weddings from the time that they are young. I was one of those, I am sure. I particularly remember wearing a big white quilt as a wedding dress and one of my mom's white slips as a veil (countless times) when I was little. Looking back, I am positive that I looked more like a nun rather than a bride. Oh well. Fast forward 18 years and here I am. After getting engaged, I decided that the details of a wedding and the possible hospitality that a wedding can provide were going to be of the utmost importance to me. So, with the help of Southern Weddings Magazine, I decided to put a novel idea into practice and I am writing to report that it's actually taking place.

Upon engagement, my mom bought me some different wedding magazines to get ideas -- Southern Weddings was one. In one article, I noticed a story of a bride and her mother who scouted vintage china plates to feed all 275 of their guests at their wedding dinner. I was immediately interested. Who does that? Not to mention, it must be extremely expensive. Nevertheless, I was intrigued. I mentioned the idea to my mother-in-law-to-be, Mary Lou, and she asked me when we were going to get started. I thought, "Well, I guess this could be a possibility." So, we started telling people what we were wanting to do and we all started scouting out thrift stores, antique shops and Goodwills for random plates. For a while, I honestly thought the idea would flop. Our goal was to collect over 300 plates for our wedding supper. Low and behold, in the time that it takes a woman to conceive and bear a child, we have collected over 300 plates for our wedding dinner! So, I must say a few things. First, THANK YOU x 1000000000 to all who helped us collect -- My mom, Aunt Nancy, Jackie Nichols, Becky Miller, Mary Lou Just, Betsy Bunnel, Grandma Bowers to name a few! Second, I am happy to report that this project cost approx. .50 a plate, perhaps even less. Third, Goodwill has a lot of china plates looking for a home. Fourth, you might discover your great grandmother's china in an old garage if you search hard enough. Fifth, for all those searching brides who might want to put this idea into practice, I will have a lot of plates when things are said and done :). Last of all, what an amazing opportunity to build relationships, search, scour and bond and make this wedding experience a fantastic one. I'd encourage all brides to find a special project like this that can bring family, friends and loved ones together. 

Our Counseling Guru

Naturally, since we are getting married in June, Kyle and I have been attending pre-marital counseling at our church in Winfield. We really enjoy our therapist and I normally walk away week to week intrigued by the knowledge that she passes on to us. One of the things that Kyle and I have talked about with her during the last few sessions has been enmeshment vs. disengagement -- two states that are better avoided in a marriage. Enmeshment is the idea that couples have to be together all of the time. Often times, couples who are suffering from enmeshment will claim that their significant other "completes" them and they cannot see where they end and the other person begins. The opposite of that, then, is disengagement. Couples who are disengaged from one another tend to be closed off and far from their significant other. As you can imagine, both states are damaging. Kyle and I are pretty good at spending time together and time apart and that has always been pretty important to us. Even though I am marrying Kyle, I don't want him to complete me! And I certainly do not want to live with a stranger. I want him to complement me. I want to be a better person because he is around...

Maybe a Vase with Bamboo

So, tonight, Kyle and I celebrated Valentine's. He planned it all out. One of the things he planned was for us to go out to Olive Garden to eat. We went to the newest one in Derby, which is right next to Target. It's getting close to time for us to register for our wedding, so I thought it would be a good idea to go scope out some potential registry items after supper and Kyle agreed. We have an idea of how we want things in our house (or should I say, I have an idea). Kyle kind of lets me go with the decorating flow. However, I have learned some things about him when I ask for his opinion and I am trying to make this "decorating: marriage style" thing work. Tonight, when we were looking around, Kyle was saying some of the most HILARIOUS stuff. So, I started nonchalantly taking notes on my phone so I could blog, verbatim, what he said. Here are a few Kyle moments:

• We have decided on a comforter already that we want for our bed. The comforter is slate gray, so we were looking at sheets to accent it. I thought a blue or darker yellow would go great as an accent color with the bedspread. Kyle, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of either color. So, we talked about sheets for quite a bit. Then, we were moving on and he said to me..."That was long." I responded with, "What was long?" and he said "We just had a detailed discussion...about sheets."
• Moving on, we were looking at other comforters, just to see if there was anything else that we liked better than the slate gray one. I found a purple one with a modern floral design and asked him if he liked it (every time I ask him what color he wants our living room/kitchen/bathroom/bedroom to be, he says "purple"). He looked at me and said, "I don't really like it. I just don't want to sleep under flowers."
• Ok -- moving forward. We moved on to housing decor. I found a huge black floor vase. I said to Kyle, "Hey, this vase is fun." He responded and said "Ya! I like that thing." I thought to myself..."Phew...winning." And I then said, "I think it would look fun with some bamboo in it or something." He looked at me blankly and said, "You mean, that's not for our umbrellas and canes?"
• We then proceeded to have a strange quabble about clocks. Kyle got really excited when we reached the clock area. He said "I really like to have clocks in all of the rooms, so I know what time it is, but I don't like fancy clocks, I just like simple clocks." Hmmm...I don't know how I feel about lots of clocks. So, he found a weather radar/clock combination and insisted we register for it instead.

That's just a little bit of registry fun. I seem to learn something new everyday, even about my future spouse. I think it can be summed up like this: purple, clocks, no.flowers.at.all, white/gray sheets (although, he liked the idea of Zebra accent pillows...say what?), maybe a vase with bamboo.

Honorable Hourglass

This weekend, I was blessed by a local women's retreat! It was great to "get away" for an evening and morning and just have fun learning in the presence and experience of other women. During this morning's session, there was a Q and A panel with four local ladies. One of the ladies was answering a question and was talking about the importance of honoring time. This is something that I have been thinking about a lot -- since last summer, really, and I thought it would be good to blog about it.

One of the things I have discovered over the past year is the importance of honoring time. To each season, there is an importance, a relevance, a purpose. Last summer, I couldn't wait to get engaged. I had been dating Kyle for almost two years and it was just time. I didn't know when things were going to happen, but when summer was about to end and we weren't engaged yet, I spent more time panicking than anything else. Wondering when the time would come. Hmmm.

My current journal is blue. I refer to is as my "blue" journal, too. It is full of too many boo-hoos. There was a time right before I was engaged that I just decided that I really needed to strive to live in the moment, honor time, let it be what it would be. Then, low and behold, engagement day came. Now, I find myself having to sit back and enjoy my engagement. It's also my last semester of college -- instead of freaking out about my future, I need to slow down and enjoy this time. How important it is to not "check out" yet -- to not ditch friends yet, academics, professors, college life. It's not my time to go find a full-time job yet. It's not time quite yet. I think honoring time is a discipline that is going to be more beneficial if it's learned now. It's time to honor time. You're not getting these current moments back.

Merry Got Me Thinking

On Christmas Eve, Seth Godin (an excellent marketing blogger that you should follow) wrote a short blog called "Merry." The point of this little blurb was "you can't be merry by yourself."

"Merry" got me thinking. You really can't be merry by yourself. One of the greatest gifts that God gives us is other people -- both people that we know and people that we don't know. I don't personally know Seth Godin, but he impacts my brain, in a good way, I think. Sometimes we are blessed from a distance by the presence of other people. It must have been the same for Joseph and Mary. Two people, probably not with a lot of friends after (what seems to be) a pregnancy scandal. However, the birth of a child -- a Savior brings a little "merry" to the scene. Shepherds come and wise men come from afar, bringing good gifts to people they do not even know.

I would have to say that the Christmas season calls us to be merry for more than just the simple idea that Christmas should be a time filled with charity and warmth. It seems scriptural for us to be together. As Godin writes, "merriment requires a group" -- whether that's a group of rejoicing strangers or close family members. So, let us choose to be together this season and always, celebrating the mystery of merriment as we rejoice in Christ.

The Hunger Games

Today my lovely fiance decided to fart on me....again...probably for the millionth time ever. Then, I remembered a blog that I was going to write about him, but never did. So, here it goes.

Back in November, prior to Thanksgiving, we were in Tampa the night before we boarded our Carnival cruise (My grandparents took us on a cruise for their 50th wedding anniversary). While we were in Tampa, my whole family (cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents included) went walking downtown to find a restaurant. We found a fancy, organic pizza restaurant and all went in to order. Everyone seemed to either order something personally or we were paired up with "pizza buddies," as I like to refer to them. For some reason, I volunteered to be paired up with Kyle and my brother, Brent. Together, we would share some organic, thin-crusted pepperoni pizza. When the pizza arrived, I was talking with my parents about something and I was also waiting on a plate. The rest of this story happened in slow motion. There I am talking, and I look over to see a ton of this pizza demolished -- gone, nihil. My jaw dropped and my Maslow's Hierarchy of needs crashed. Food!!! They were totally taking it from me. Not just some of it -- all of it. So, I started yelling, "Hey! Hey! Let me have some pizza!!" So, they gave me one, small, square piece. Oh no, I wasn't having this. I demanded another piece, and then, the pizza was gone.

There I was, failing at this hunger game. So, in short, Kyle farts on me and deprives me of food. No, just kidding. I just like to give him crap. I actually really love him and am excited to marry him :). Speaking of Kyle, he just woke up from one of his notorious naps. Guess what he dreamed about? Pizza. Not kidding.

December Update

This semester is coming to a close! Hard to believe. After visiting Asbury Theological Seminary back in October, I decided to apply. I just found out on Tuesday that I was accepted to the seminary! So, it looks like Kyle and I will be moving to Kentucky in August. We are both pretty excited about it. We've talked about living somewhere else other than Kansas, and this seems like the perfect opportunity.

Kyle will be student teaching next semester and I will be finished with classes in December. I will finish out a minor degree next Spring and be around to work on campus ministry and chapel. Kyle and I will both graduate in May and then we will be wedding hopping throughout the summer. One of my great friends gets married in May, Kyle and I get married in June, my roommate gets married in July and then by BFF gets married in August! And I am in all of the weddings. I can't believe it! It's fun and crazy. So, for the time being, I will leave you with some wedding inspiration from my brain, just so you can see what's up. More to come in the future....