Extinguished

The event that took place in Newtown, CT last Friday has sparked a number of responses. The media is messy. That fact has caused me to think with integrity about my own response. During our drive home on Saturday I had 12 fresh hours to truly think about my response, trying to decide if this is my place to blog or not. After seeing a couple of things on Facebook, I soon decided that it needed to be.

Like I said, the media has been really messy. A couple of different things being passed around on Facebook need to be extinguished and quickly. On Friday, shortly after the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary, I saw a picture going around on Facebook that concluded that God couldn't be present at Sandy Hook on Friday because we have pushed Him out of our schools. I've seen another political post being passed around with this same message. People of God, this lie must be extinguished. 

To say that God was not present on Friday is to deny God's sovereignty. It's to deny God's kindness. This is not the God I believe we serve. I know that my own heart has been grieved by the events that took place on Friday. If we are image bearers of God himself, can you imagine how much more God must be grieved? A million times over, indeed. Do yourself a favor and don't believe that God wasn't present on Friday. I think he must have been present beyond what we can fathom and imagine. 

As you process through this event yourself I pray that you would do so with integrity. May you believe that God is so kind, grieved by the event that took place on Friday at Sandy Hook Elementary. May you believe in his sovereignty and his ability to make all things good. I only pray that my tiny voice might be heard among louder voices spreading, what I believe to be, falsities about God's character. I hope, at least, this falsity for you might be extinguished. 

Eyes Open

One of the things we practice daily here at Asbury is the Eucharist. A daily Eucharist service takes place every day of the week in Fletcher Chapel. Then, on Wednesdays, the Eucharist takes place during the chapel service. Ever since I was little I can remember being fascinated by the Eucharist. I grew up in the Catholic Church so, in worship jargon, the Eucharist was always the climax of the service. It was so beautiful. I always loved the liturgy and the act of going and being served communion.

Communion is still one of my favorite sacraments today. I especially love communion on Sunday mornings. It's so awesome to think about how many other people in the world are celebrating communion. It's such a representative feast of joy in the church and it really ties the ecumenical church-at-large together in a powerful and spiritual way.

My absolute favorite part of communion, though, is watching others receive it and be blessed. I have never been one to kneel at the altar after communion -- not because I don't want to, and definitely not because I am not thankful. I just can't wait to get back to watch others take communion. It's the embodiment of joy and sacrifice. It often brings me to tears watching others accept the love and grace of Christ. It makes me so  thankful. As each person takes communion I whisper in my mind, "Thank you, Jesus." Accepting communion is such a true form of worship -- I love watching grace unfold in the community's midst. That's why I keep my eyes open.

Life as an INFJ

If you're a Myers-Briggs person, you will understand this post. I won't take this opportunity to explain Myers-Briggs,  I will just tell you that if you haven't taken the MB personality test, you must. It's so accurate that it's scary. Lately, I've been reverting back to my Myers-Briggs in attempt to better understand myself. We often think that we understand how we work, when in fact, we really don't. Moving to a new place, making new friends and building a new life has caused me to really think about the ways that I can best benefit myself and those around me. Here is what I think and understand about being an INFJ and hopefully this will help you understand me, too. It's just fascinating. Maybe in my next post, I will feature Mr. J who is almost the complete opposite of me -- an ESFP.

I - Introverted

• Yes, I'm introverted. I gain my energy back when I am alone, doing my own thing. This, of course, doesn't mean I am anti-social. I actually thrive in certain social situations. 
• The implications for being an introvert are: I am shy when I get in a big group, but I really thrive when I have the opportunity to chat with someone 1-on-1 or if I am in a smaller group (3-4). 
• This pesky "I" is honestly my biggest struggle when I am new places. I'm awkward in some groups. People think I am a mute. I swear, I am not ;). It takes me a while to be un-awkward until I get to know people. 
• I try to not let my "I" define me. But I am committed to watching extroverts be extroverted. Why? It helps me be more extroverted, but it doesn't make me want to be an extrovert. Catch my drift?

N - Intuition

• This is how I gather information. I understand things much better when I can relate it back to something that I already know. 
• The implications for me when it comes to intuition are: I will compare things with things. I compare people with other people. This is sometimes bad and sometimes good. 
• I actually like this about myself. However, it's not always educationally awesome. Some things require a much more concrete grasp and to be honest, I want things to be a bit more abstract. 

F - Feeler

• This is how I gather information. The F is interesting to me because it makes me see that I am not as logical as I think I am. It's really important to me that people don't get hurt. Inwardly, I would rather take the blame for something than see someone else inconvenienced. 
• The implications for being a feeler are: I have great empathy. I am able to relate to others well. The downside is, sometimes I let people take advantage of me. I don't stand up for myself because I don't want people to think less of me. 
• I can't complain too much about being an "F." Honestly, it surprises me more than anything. I often think I am more logical than I really am. 

J - Judger

• This is how I make decisions. This is where Miss Organization arises in me. I would much rather make a to-do list and cross things off of it rather than just doing things on my own time.
• This is good and bad. I've really had to make myself balance this out. I've had to distinguish between work and play and leave room for both in a healthy manner. 
• Perceivers particularly stress me out when it comes to getting things finished. This is where my husband can sometimes drive me crazy.
• I am embarrassed to admit, but I am a very strong J. I am probably the most proud of being a J because I can't stand Ps. I can't imagine NOT being a J. :) 

That's me in a Myers-Briggs nutshell! If you haven't discussed your MB with me yet, please do. It's completely fascinating. I can't wait to feature Mr. J. I have a lot to say about his MB. That's all the personality fun for now.

When You Think Happiness...

For one of my classes here at the seminary, we had to write a "Rule of Life" for one of our assignments. A rule of life is just basic outline that helps you grow spiritually, academically, personally etc. I put mine together and realized how much I truly appreciate simplicity. There are few key things that get me through my week and contribute to my overall happiness. I think it's a good idea to reflect on these things. I decided to blog about a few things that make me genuinely happy. These are in no particular order. Hopefully this will encourage you to make a small rule for yourself, or at least think about and appreciate the day-to-day simple things that make you happy.




1. Kyle and I choose to make the bed everyday and I love it. I'm a little obsessive when it comes to this. There is something about making the bed, and knowing that it's made, that kick-starts my day.

2. Showing kindness to people. Kindness, everyday. Choose to be kind.

3. Choosing to live out the life I dream to live. I enjoy beautiful things -- date nights, tea parties, dressing up, decorating, garden parties. Sometimes my friends make fun of me for this type of stuff, but I decided I am just going to live and do what I always dreamed of living and doing. Why not have a tea party with your girly friends? Why not dress up and have a fancy dinner for fun? Why not?

4. Praying for people in the world -- especially those who provide my food for me. I am intentional about praying for these people everyday. I also pray that God would provide for them and show Kyle and I ways that we can intentionally provide for them.

5. Being generous. Kyle and I are in no way "making bank." But, God provides generously for us. He gives us just what we need each month. I've been amazed at God's provision. Having to depend on God, for literally every penny, gives me great joy. In turn, we've given more now than we ever have -- more time, more meals, more money. As Anne Frank would say, "No one becomes poor by giving." We've gained great joy by giving.

6. Journaling. I try to record something positive from the day and keep track of the ways that God is providing for us. It's amazing to go back and see God's hand in motion in miraculous ways.

7. Book Club. I got invited into this group upon coming to seminary. I've never been a part of a more beautiful, diverse group of women. So many gifts, so many laughs. Honestly, the group is rare. I've never been a part of anything like it.

8. My husband, in general. Oh, it is love. Time with the hubs is the best. He loves me so well and goes out of his way to make everyday a special day. Older people often marvel when we act gaga around each other, then roll their eyes and say "Oh, newlyweds." Honestly, though, every married couple should remember their newlywed days and strive to keep qualities of them. I am no counselor, but I think we would have a lot more merry marriages if people remembered being newlyweds.

9. Successful people. I love studying successful people and discovering the way they made it. I recently watched an interview with Taylor Swift (oh, quit judging.) She's a jewel. Go listen to "Tim Mcgraw" and that's what started it all for her. The point is, it was so in her element. Maybe that's what we need to do to be successful, just stay in our element. Perhaps we spend too much time impressing people.

10. Singing. Hey, I sing every morning in front of my mirror while getting ready. I even dance a little, too. Honestly, though, they say singing helps reduce depression, anxiety and gives you fresh air and your lungs.

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

So, tomorrow I am turning 23 and I've realized that I've gone through some major life events in the past year.   First, I graduated college. Then, I got married. Now, I am in graduate school. Whoa, wait!!! What's next? And don't say babies. I am on the "track" for my life and I love the direction it's going (although it's going kind of fast!). However, I often like to think of things that I might have otherwise pursued. And, boy, my life would be so different if I would have pursued those tracks. Here are just a few careers I might have chased if I didn't end up where I am today. Or, they are tracks that I probably would have never actually taken, but think they'd be fun.

• Hairstylist - This is serious, ya'll. I sometimes seriously think about going to beauty school after seminary just because I love cutting Kyle's hair. Plus, I would get to talk to people all day and hear their stories. And cutting hair is a very practical skill. I also appreciate how trendy hairstylists are. 
• Interior Designer/Decorator - Omgeee. I love decorating. I love mixing patterns and neutrals. I love sewing custom pillows to spice up a place. I love painting spaces and renovating. I love thrifting. If, I had a show on HGTV it would be called "Makeovers with Molly."
• Design Magazine Editor in Chief - Um, how fun would it be to write a letter to your design audience every month with your big ole' signature and photo in the magazine? So.awesome. Sometimes I practice my signature for this very purpose. 
• Elementary School Teacher - I always wanted to be Miss Honey from Matilda. And kids. Geez, you have to love them. 
• Wedding Planner - I loved my own and would do it all again. Give me a business with the country-chic girls in the South and I'm good to go. 
• Counselor - I really love the idea of Marriage and Family Counseling. That's a tough path, though. I don't think I have the emotional energy to cope. 
• Adviser - I would love to work at a school and act as an adviser for students. I feel like I am good at organizing things and helping people put meaningful things together, such as, their life plans ;). 
• Wall Paint Name-r - Do you ever wonder how paint colors get their cool names -- "Bahama Blue" or "Playful Coral?" Somebody has to come up with them...just sayin'.
• Barista - Knowing how to make all types of coffee/fun-drinks is appealing to me. Who wouldn't want to be a barista? Except for those cranky customers might be the only downfall.
• Pastor - But, ultimately, I want to be a pastor. A trendy one at that. Want to know one of my biggest hopes? Someday, I want to have an office for students/congregants/or whoever to come by and sit and talk. I want my office to have a nice loveseat with zebra pillows on it. I want my office to be adorned with pictures, lamps and candles. And get this, this is my favorite part. I want to have a tea kettle readily available with hot water so my guests who stop by can have tea/cocoa upon their arrival. Then, we can sit and chat for awhile. And, I might be able to get a little bit of work done, too ;). Here's to the future...cheers! 

Taco Seasoning!

One of my favorite things to do is cook! Especially when I have the time for it :). One of our favorite meals (like anyone) is tacos! It's such an easy fall-back meal. However, if you've ever been in the store and picked up pre-packaged taco seasoning you will notice how much sodium it has. It has a gunk-load. In light of that, Kyle and I have been using a simple mix of spices to create our own taco seasoning. Not only is it delish, but it also has so much less sodium. It makes taco night more enjoyable and healthy. I thought I would share it here: 

1 Tbsp chili powder

1 Tbsp cumin

1 Tbsp garlic powder

1 Tbsp onion powder 

1/4 - 1/2 crushed red pepper (if you want some extra spice) 

Enjoy!

P.S. I received this from my mother-in-law, Mary Lou, back when we moved to Kentucky. 

Alma Mater, Hail!

Last night, our wonderful friends, Isaac and Cameron came over to hang out and to have a night of worship. Isaac led the group with his wonderful talents – it was a great evening, relishing the presence of Jesus in our space. Afterwards, Isaac sent me a song that he wrote and World Witness Team at Southwestern recorded last year. The song is called “We Pray” and Isaac wrote it a couple of years ago during a 48 hour prayer event. I remember the moment he told us about it and introduced us to it in the Fall of 2009. It soon became a favorite of many at SC (and it’s still my favorite today). I’ve been listening to the recording that he sent me a lot this morning, partly because I am avoiding writing a paper and most of all because I love it. It’s so anointed and beautiful. It takes me back to Southwestern every time.

As I sit here and listen to it I can pick out many familiar voices – Esther, Anna, Raisa, to name a few. It humbles my soul when I remember my time at Southwestern and all of the amazing people I was able to meet and befriend over the last 4 years. I see how the Lord used me in that space and formed my calling in such a profound way. I don’t know what my future looks like in terms of physical job locations, but, after listening to “We Pray,” I am reminded of my love for students. I am reminded of my appreciation for students who are so open to the Lord and his leading. I am reminded of my great leaders – especially Ashlee Alley and Martin Rude, who both encouraged and shaped me in great ways. I thoroughly enjoy where I am now, while also realizing that my time at Southwestern was a sacred time and space in history. Someday, I hope I can create this space for students at a college or university. My greatest wish is that Jesus would use me to create such a sacred space for students, where gifts and callings are wrestled with and discovered. I hope to create a space for beautiful things – anointed things, so that when my students are far, far away someday, and they hear a song that their fellow peer wrote and their friends recorded, they are taken back and ushered into a time of thankfulness before the Lord.

P.S. Hail My Alma Mater for being such a special place. I am so happy to be an alumnus! And my picture is from the Worship Outreach Compilation Album, and my best guess is this was when "We Pray" was recorded! I had to have Isaac, the song writer and music man extraordinaire in the pic! 

JUST an E-mail

Normally, I don't double blog. But, I HAD to share this. My mom sent me a random e-mail today that she still had in her inbox (for some reason????). I wrote this to her four years ago, right after I moved to Winfield to go to college. It features a special character! Let's just say it's really funny to see how things work out. Here it is. Just to put things in context -- I am e-mailing my mom back about some questions and about coming home for fall break.

Hello!

The test was iffy. But I studied for it, and the things that I didn't know weren't even in my study guide, so I don't feel so bad. Anyway, all together, I think I at least did adequate. Not perfect, but definately not horrible, I don't think, at least. and YES it's been raining around here since yesterday, and it's really cold. I don't mind the rain so much, I just don't like walking in it when it's freezing cold outside. It like never stops here though. Just rains. It's quite interesting, compared to Western Kansas.

and YES again, I am ready to come home and visit everyone. And relax. I am tired of all this studying and what not. It's lots of work. And, I was talking to my friend, Kyle Just. He lives in Leoti and we talked about riding home together for fall break, I figured I would ask you to save some money in gas and to have a friend to ride home with!! Except, I don't want him to go way out of his way, but he goes through Scott City, so I was going to see if Mallory would be in Scott on Friday and if I could be picked up there. Just thought I would see what's going on there. Let me know, so I can let Kyle know!

I have to have 20 hours of observation. I have like 5 and a half right now, I think. OHHH thanks for reminding me I need to e-mail Mrs. Steinmetz. DEFINATELY e-mail Erin and see if I can come visit Paige and Cole!! I want to see them before they move :(

The Cookies are good,

Molly

That's the Kyle I married!! HA! And, look at me being a whiny baby about all the work I had to do in undergrad. 

Funnies!

Doin' Peachy, Just a Little Preachy

I just thought I would write a quick update while I had a moment. One of the challenges of seminary (and probably any graduate school) is that time really does escape from you. I know this is silly, but it's hard to even pick up the phone to chat to lots of folks. So, it's great for me to be able to blog while I take a break from homework and connect with eons of people who are important to me! Thank you, digital world.

I wanted to share an experience that I had a week ago now. Two Fridays ago, the seminary hosted a free healing conference and brought in a woman named Judith MacNutt to speak and lead the conference. Her husband, Frances MacNutt, and her are the founders of Christian Healing Ministries. If you've ever been involved in counseling before, especially Christian counseling, you have probably heard of them. Anyway, the Thursday before the conference, I was talking with the lady I work with, Sarah, and I was telling her how I really wanted to go, but probably wouldn't because it lasted all day on Friday and I had homework to do. Sarah, who has been in the counseling field herself, told me that I needed to go. She was like, "Molly, the MacNutts created a whole new idea in counseling when they introduced their form of healing ministry. I can't believe she is here and she is free. You have to go." Well, I am easily persuaded, so I decided for sure that I was going to go.

Friday rolled around and the conference began. It was great! Judith talked about the different components of being in a healing ministry and then, right before we left for lunch, she asked people in the room who were in need of physical healing to come forward. Many did! She told us we were going to pray for their healing. So, the rest of us acted as prayer ministers. We began praying, and she led us. The cool part -- people were physically healed -- not everyone, but some. It was awesome. However, the point I really wanted to communicate in this blog post is one that concerns the whole church -- all of humanity, really. Towards the end of the conference, they had the Asbury Healing Academy and other prayer ministers come forth. Then, they invited all of us up, one at a time, to be prayed for (if we wanted to be prayed for.) At first, I wasn't going to go. I wasn't sick. And, going up to the front to be prayed for makes me feel pretty vulnerable. However, one thing that I heard God say to me loud and clear was: "Molly, no one here is whole. Not one person. Go receive prayer." So, I did. Then, when I got into the realm of my particular prayer ministers, I just started talking all over the place. I told them how I was experiencing some anxiety because of moving and because Kyle didn't have a permanent job yet and yada yada yada. The things everyone here seems to worry about. However, one thing that I didn't tell them is that sometimes the anxiety is so great that it actually makes me doubt my call. There are moments when I am like, "What the heck am I doing here? Maybe I am not supposed to be here." My humanness gets the best of me. So, back to the story. The ministers just start praying. They pray for wholeness and relief from anxiety and so on and so forth. BUT, then, one of them said, "God we pray against the enemy. We pray against the power he has to make Molly doubt her call. We pray against the power the enemy has to make her believe that she isn't meant to be here at Asbury." I didn't know whether to be like this: : O or like this: : D! The girl read my mind. Actually, let's just say the Holy Spirit was present. Most importantly, though, in that moment all I felt was a rush of freedom. Jesus healed a lot of people that day, but you know what, he also healed me. He freed me from something I didn't even realize I was trapped in. Today, you might think you're whole. But, you know what, you probably aren't. That's why we need Jesus. I don't want to be all preachy, but I am serious. Jesus is the only one that can make us whole. Amen and amen.

Until we communicate via my blog again, I hope this story gives you some encouragement! And, if you ever have the chance to experience a prayer conference with the MacNutts, please go!

Food for Thought

As you can imagine, I run into a lot of really great people here at the seminary. Seriously, it's amazing. It's like you throw all the awesome people together in the world and *BAM,* here they are. One of the things that I absolutely love, whether at seminary or not, is hearing peoples' stories. In one of my classes, we have been split up into small groups where we share a ministry and vocational journey together for a semester. The other day, I was talking with my group and we were sharing our journeys of how we ended up at Asbury. One story especially stuck out to me and I knew right then that it was blog material.

The question was asked: if you could do anything in ministry, what would your dream job be? When we got around to one particular person, they said, "I would love to go live by myself in a cabin in the woods and minister to people through writing. I feel like I have been burned by people, burned by the church. I am starting to trust people again, which is how I ended up here, but it took awhile." He then went on to explain how prior to seminary, he had been extremely involved with a church. The leadership of this church, however, hurt more people than it helped. He then noted how he left the church and decided to attend culinary school (I told you people at seminary have good stories!). He excelled in culinary school, enjoyed it a lot and went on to work in a restaurant. He said, "You know, I was so sick of a church that hurt people. I worked with food because I was able to be a part of something that brought people together, slowed them down and had them listen to one another." Can you just imagine a chef, peering out at his restaurant from his kitchen? Watching people truly enjoy one another's company? You know, there is that couple over there in the corner on their first date, getting to know one another, wishing time would slow down. Then, there is that couple in the booth, to your left, who is celebrating their 35th anniversary, remembering all of the times they've had together and celebrating life. After that, in the back room, at the long table, there is that annual company meeting. These folks join together to discuss annual goals and progress and to identify where they are going to go, business wise, this year. Then, you have your normals, going out to eat because it is mom's night off. In all cases, food brings people together, and as a chef, that's something to be really proud of. To me, the mental image is really powerful. My new friend ended his story with this line: "I hope the church can slow down like that." Hmmm. Food for thought. And, I think it's like "Olive Garden" food for thought. Yeah?

Jiving

Are there ever times in your life when you sit back and just realize that you are totally and completely jiving in God's plan for you? I had to take a moment to write this week because I have been overwhelmed by God's faithfulness and generosity to us here in Wilmore. For the last couple of days, Kyle and I have been going through new student orientation at Asbury. When I first saw the schedule for NSO, I was automatically excited (which isn't normally the case for school orientation!). I knew the experience was going to be great -- and it was!

First, I have to say, the staff here is beyond exceptional. They have gone out of their way to know our names  and to connect with us on a personal level. Each and every staff person that we have met, from professors to housing directors constantly repeat, "We are here to serve you. Please, let us know how we can do that. We are here for you." It's made the transitional process so much easier. Also, the students are all that we dreamed. During NSO we had the opportunity to meet so many different people that are different ages and all of them have stories about God's faithfulness in their lives. People here embody and embrace the term "community." Here are just a few things that we experienced at NSO that we really enjoyed! 

• Obviously, meeting people has been one of the highlights; from single folks to married folks to toddlers and babies, we love all those who we've met so far! 
• Chapel was an exhilarating experience as the entire community prayed for us, commissioned us and welcomed us into their community. 
• Dinner at the President's estate at Rose Hill has to be on the top of my list. We enjoyed a nice garden party and got to tour the house! That was one of my favorite parts. 
• We enjoyed lunch with the faculty today.
• My absolute favorite part happened this morning during breakfast. One of the alumni coordinators asked us to raise our hand if we decided to come to Asbury because we were influenced by an alum. I looked around and almost everyone had their hand raised. That, to me, spoke volumes. When you have something good, word of mouth will be your best marketing tool. 

Rest assured, we are being taken care of here. As we transition into this stage of our ministry, Kyle and I would appreciate your prayers, as always! We also want our family and friends to know that this has to be one of the greatest places to be, so come and visit :). We are so excited to be a part of such a Spirit-filled community. We can't wait to live this story so that we can share it with others someday. Surely, God is with us! 

Kentucky Update

We are finally in Wilmore! We've hit the week mark and we're still alive, so that's a great thing :-)! Kyle's parents and my dad helped us move down last week. We arrived Monday evening and they left for home on Thursday morning. We were so thankful for their help moving and they even bought us a dresser! Aren't parents great? Moreover, we have seen God's hand move in mighty ways already, reassuring us that He is ever-present on this journey. I thought I would share a few of our "God gifts" as my mother-in-law, Mary Lou, refers to them as:

• The dresser was a definite God gift -- ours didn't make the trip so well, it was leaning tower of dresser, about to fall apart at any second. Of course, people can live without dressers, but it's a nice God gift given through our parents. 
• When transferring things into our name, we found out that we didn't have to pay a $125 water deposit because of good credit. Proof that credit cards used responsibly actually hold a lot of weight in some situations. 
• I had a job interview last Thursday and was offered a part-time job at the School of World Missions here at the Seminary. It was a definite God-gift to help bring a little bit more money into our budget each month.
• The people of Wilmore and everyone at the seminary are all God-gifts to us as well. Everyone has been more than helpful and welcoming, making us feel at home in return. That's hard to do when you're 1,000 miles away from home. 

This is a journey for sure. As we continue on it, we'd ask for your prayers in one significant way -- Kyle still needs a job. He is going through the process of becoming a substitute teacher, which should actually be a pretty good gig once all of the paperwork is finished. It's hard to get into the school systems down here unless you already have a Kentucky license. We are hoping that by substituting, he will be able to get his foot in the door. 

With that all said, we wish blessings on so many of our family and friends, who we carry with us. We especially think of our friends who are also away from home and on adventures of their own. Godspeed to the many who leave and sacrifice often, not out of selfishness, but out of calling. Amen! 

{Words}

We've finally set a date to move to Kentucky. Looks like August 13th will be the big day. This entire summer, I was sure that we would be moving August 20-something. Seminary doesn't even start until September and we didn't really need to be in Kentucky until the end of August anyway. I say all of that to say this: the new moving date really has me worried.

Last night, Kyle and I were sitting on our couch talking about the move. He's so calm. I am so not. What's even worse is that I realize 1,000 times a day that I put us in this situation. For some reason I am starting to consciously realize that there are a lot of unknowns. And.it.freaks.me.out.

So, this is where the story actually gets encouraging and interesting. Yesterday morning, I was reading my Bible and journaling when I also decided to pick up a book called "John Wesley on Prayer." I've been following along with this book on a daily basis for awhile now because I love prayer and I love John Wesley. That's excuse enough. The "JW thought" that I read for the day was titled "Deny self to obey the Lord." Basically it ripped me a part. It talked about how when we are in times of dryness or pain (or worry) we often forget to be fervent in Spirit. I am not going to lie, the seminary process hasn't been easy or enjoyable really for me. And I've realized that I have been praying a lot for Kyle to get a job and for God to "provide" without really even having faith in my own prayers. Much more, my prayers have been selfishly centered around me {and Kyle} by default.

I realized that this was at the root of my problems. My prayer life has felt dry because my prayers are so selfish and faithless. My long prayers have only caused me more agony. With that said, I bring 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 to the table: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing...give thanks." The best way I can put this is only in John Wesley's own words: "Our Lord has purchased joy, as well as righteousness for us. Thanksgiving is inseparable from true prayer; it is almost essentially connected to it. One who always prays is ever-giving praise, whether it's in ease or pain, both for prosperity and great adversity."

My prayer life needed re-routed. Instead of praying for the perfect job for Kyle or the perfect type of provision for us, I choose, instead, to offer up prayers of thanksgiving for the ways that God has already provided and will provide for us in the future. If the Bible is clear about anything it's that God does indeed take care of us. The only way I can think of to end this rather emotional blog for me is to say "truly" or "Amen," hoping that these words are prayers themselves.

#MarriageandMedia

About a month ago, I wrote a blog called #MourningandMedia, it related to how social media is now a very real and big part of the mourning process when people in our world and our communities pass away. I have been wanting to make a mini-series out of this type of social media thing and gathered some new-found inspiration to write this blog. So, today I bring you, #MarriageandMedia

In the same way that social media helps our world mourn, we see the same effect when it comes to celebration. For Kyle and I, this summer is the wedding summer on steroids. We know SO many couples getting married. One of the funniest things that I have observed when my FB friends get married is the constant check-back to their profiles (Heck, yes, I do this, too!). Your own FB world tunes in to your big day by constantly refreshing the page, looking for a way to connect with you on a personal level. We hear stuff like this all the time when we are observers and even say them ourselves: "Are there any pictures of them up yet?" "Oh my gosh, look at her dress, it looks just like her!" "Have they changed their relationship status yet?" "Has she changed her last name yet?" "Where did they go on their honeymoon? Are there pictures yet?" We say all this in the name of being connected and sometimes, nosy :).

Social media is a tool we use to celebrate. So what? I think this is awesome! I love receiving messages and posts on FB talking about the wedding. However, sometimes, I think we go too far. Some couples go as far as incorporating FB into their wedding ceremony by changing their relationship status at the altar, right before their first wedded kiss. In a poll/study done by David's Bridal, they noted that nearly 50% of brides change their name between the wedding and reception. Other couples create their honeymoon album on FB while they are on their honeymoon! Isn't it a honeymoon and not a communitymoon? Send some updates here and there, but play a little hard-to-get with your FB world and spend some new time with your spouse! Upload your photos when you get back.

Now, the thing that brought me down-to-earth the most with this whole social media thing is changing my name on Facebook. Everyone keeps asking, "When are you going to change your name on Facebook, Mrs. Just?" Why does everyone want me to change my name? Why do I want to change my name? Because it is the FIRST thing that will say "Molly Just." Unlike a driver's license or any other government issued document, the first public thing that will say "Molly Just" is my Facebook page, it's instant, giving me and everyone in my FB world an accomplished feeling. Well, until your last name is "Just." Apparently I cannot change my last name because "Just" violates FB name standards. Whatever that means. So, in order to change my name online, I must upload a copy of a government issued I.D. I think Facebook wins this one. In the meantime, I will enjoy being "Molly Komlofske" online until some sort of identification comes in.Click on the screen shot below.

#MourningandMedia

So many blogs have been written about social media in the past decade and the weight that it holds in our lives. Lately I have been thinking about social media and death. We've all seen Twitter kill Justin Beiber, Jackie Chan, etc. Ha, ha Twitter. The Beib and Chan live on! Today, I want to hit on something a bit more serious. Lately I have been evaluating the reactions that people have on social media when loved ones die. How strange it is to pull up Facebook and find your friend still well preserved online. Facebook tells you to "message him or her" or "tell him or her happy birthday." It's a strange dichotomy.

Young people now cope in a different way. Memorial groups are created on Facebook and loved one's walls are covered in truly heart-felt messages. Supportive comments are given and prayers are lifted up. #Hashtags are created. And somehow, we don't forget. A visit to a Facebook wall or group is only a click away, providing an unspoken relief to those affected by the grief, even months down the road.  

Again, a strange dichotomy. They are dead, but they are somehow alive. I think this type of coping is a new and natural part of our society, especially in the younger generation. In some way, of course, it's healthy. It's like modified journaling and somehow social media connects us in more than just one way back to a person. At the same time, we cannot forget the importance of stepping out into community and being healthy that way. We can't forget what it means for us, psychologically, to talk real words with people in the flesh. We must remember that sitting around and sharing memories is just as important as sharing them on Facebook, even more so, in my opinion. 

In my mind, there are two things to glean from this. 1. Social media opens up a new way to cope and that can be a really great thing. 2. Psychologically, we must help prepare people to deal with mourning in an even greater way. Part of that includes being present for one another.

A Novel Idea

A mock tablescape -- we were trying to get a feel for the real thing!

When Kyle and I got engaged on August 6, 2011, I knew I wanted to plan the wedding of the 2012 Western Kansas summer! They say that girls dream of their weddings from the time that they are young. I was one of those, I am sure. I particularly remember wearing a big white quilt as a wedding dress and one of my mom's white slips as a veil (countless times) when I was little. Looking back, I am positive that I looked more like a nun rather than a bride. Oh well. Fast forward 18 years and here I am. After getting engaged, I decided that the details of a wedding and the possible hospitality that a wedding can provide were going to be of the utmost importance to me. So, with the help of Southern Weddings Magazine, I decided to put a novel idea into practice and I am writing to report that it's actually taking place.

Upon engagement, my mom bought me some different wedding magazines to get ideas -- Southern Weddings was one. In one article, I noticed a story of a bride and her mother who scouted vintage china plates to feed all 275 of their guests at their wedding dinner. I was immediately interested. Who does that? Not to mention, it must be extremely expensive. Nevertheless, I was intrigued. I mentioned the idea to my mother-in-law-to-be, Mary Lou, and she asked me when we were going to get started. I thought, "Well, I guess this could be a possibility." So, we started telling people what we were wanting to do and we all started scouting out thrift stores, antique shops and Goodwills for random plates. For a while, I honestly thought the idea would flop. Our goal was to collect over 300 plates for our wedding supper. Low and behold, in the time that it takes a woman to conceive and bear a child, we have collected over 300 plates for our wedding dinner! So, I must say a few things. First, THANK YOU x 1000000000 to all who helped us collect -- My mom, Aunt Nancy, Jackie Nichols, Becky Miller, Mary Lou Just, Betsy Bunnel, Grandma Bowers to name a few! Second, I am happy to report that this project cost approx. .50 a plate, perhaps even less. Third, Goodwill has a lot of china plates looking for a home. Fourth, you might discover your great grandmother's china in an old garage if you search hard enough. Fifth, for all those searching brides who might want to put this idea into practice, I will have a lot of plates when things are said and done :). Last of all, what an amazing opportunity to build relationships, search, scour and bond and make this wedding experience a fantastic one. I'd encourage all brides to find a special project like this that can bring family, friends and loved ones together. 

Our Counseling Guru

Naturally, since we are getting married in June, Kyle and I have been attending pre-marital counseling at our church in Winfield. We really enjoy our therapist and I normally walk away week to week intrigued by the knowledge that she passes on to us. One of the things that Kyle and I have talked about with her during the last few sessions has been enmeshment vs. disengagement -- two states that are better avoided in a marriage. Enmeshment is the idea that couples have to be together all of the time. Often times, couples who are suffering from enmeshment will claim that their significant other "completes" them and they cannot see where they end and the other person begins. The opposite of that, then, is disengagement. Couples who are disengaged from one another tend to be closed off and far from their significant other. As you can imagine, both states are damaging. Kyle and I are pretty good at spending time together and time apart and that has always been pretty important to us. Even though I am marrying Kyle, I don't want him to complete me! And I certainly do not want to live with a stranger. I want him to complement me. I want to be a better person because he is around...

Maybe a Vase with Bamboo

So, tonight, Kyle and I celebrated Valentine's. He planned it all out. One of the things he planned was for us to go out to Olive Garden to eat. We went to the newest one in Derby, which is right next to Target. It's getting close to time for us to register for our wedding, so I thought it would be a good idea to go scope out some potential registry items after supper and Kyle agreed. We have an idea of how we want things in our house (or should I say, I have an idea). Kyle kind of lets me go with the decorating flow. However, I have learned some things about him when I ask for his opinion and I am trying to make this "decorating: marriage style" thing work. Tonight, when we were looking around, Kyle was saying some of the most HILARIOUS stuff. So, I started nonchalantly taking notes on my phone so I could blog, verbatim, what he said. Here are a few Kyle moments:

• We have decided on a comforter already that we want for our bed. The comforter is slate gray, so we were looking at sheets to accent it. I thought a blue or darker yellow would go great as an accent color with the bedspread. Kyle, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of either color. So, we talked about sheets for quite a bit. Then, we were moving on and he said to me..."That was long." I responded with, "What was long?" and he said "We just had a detailed discussion...about sheets."
• Moving on, we were looking at other comforters, just to see if there was anything else that we liked better than the slate gray one. I found a purple one with a modern floral design and asked him if he liked it (every time I ask him what color he wants our living room/kitchen/bathroom/bedroom to be, he says "purple"). He looked at me and said, "I don't really like it. I just don't want to sleep under flowers."
• Ok -- moving forward. We moved on to housing decor. I found a huge black floor vase. I said to Kyle, "Hey, this vase is fun." He responded and said "Ya! I like that thing." I thought to myself..."Phew...winning." And I then said, "I think it would look fun with some bamboo in it or something." He looked at me blankly and said, "You mean, that's not for our umbrellas and canes?"
• We then proceeded to have a strange quabble about clocks. Kyle got really excited when we reached the clock area. He said "I really like to have clocks in all of the rooms, so I know what time it is, but I don't like fancy clocks, I just like simple clocks." Hmmm...I don't know how I feel about lots of clocks. So, he found a weather radar/clock combination and insisted we register for it instead.

That's just a little bit of registry fun. I seem to learn something new everyday, even about my future spouse. I think it can be summed up like this: purple, clocks, no.flowers.at.all, white/gray sheets (although, he liked the idea of Zebra accent pillows...say what?), maybe a vase with bamboo.

Honorable Hourglass

This weekend, I was blessed by a local women's retreat! It was great to "get away" for an evening and morning and just have fun learning in the presence and experience of other women. During this morning's session, there was a Q and A panel with four local ladies. One of the ladies was answering a question and was talking about the importance of honoring time. This is something that I have been thinking about a lot -- since last summer, really, and I thought it would be good to blog about it.

One of the things I have discovered over the past year is the importance of honoring time. To each season, there is an importance, a relevance, a purpose. Last summer, I couldn't wait to get engaged. I had been dating Kyle for almost two years and it was just time. I didn't know when things were going to happen, but when summer was about to end and we weren't engaged yet, I spent more time panicking than anything else. Wondering when the time would come. Hmmm.

My current journal is blue. I refer to is as my "blue" journal, too. It is full of too many boo-hoos. There was a time right before I was engaged that I just decided that I really needed to strive to live in the moment, honor time, let it be what it would be. Then, low and behold, engagement day came. Now, I find myself having to sit back and enjoy my engagement. It's also my last semester of college -- instead of freaking out about my future, I need to slow down and enjoy this time. How important it is to not "check out" yet -- to not ditch friends yet, academics, professors, college life. It's not my time to go find a full-time job yet. It's not time quite yet. I think honoring time is a discipline that is going to be more beneficial if it's learned now. It's time to honor time. You're not getting these current moments back.