The Memory of A Beginning

6.9.12. One of my favorite days. They say that little girls always dream about their weddings. Growing up I can say that I thought about my wedding a fair amount. However, the idea of getting married was so far off and so far foreign that I never really did give it serious thought until much later. I never met a person that I truly thought I could marry until I met Kyle. You see, Kyle has a particular liveliness about him. When I first met him his goofy-ness and love for life sparked a small flame in my own soul. He encouraged me to be more real -- more alive.

We dated for almost two years and got engaged on a beautiful evening in August of 2011. We spent the next ten months planning for our wedding. Many people warned me what a stress wedding planning would be, some even encouraged us to elope. However, we spent those ten months planning, expecting and anticipating a beautiful day. And it was a beautiful day. Picture this: paper lanterns, lots of lace, vintage plates, candles, icicle lights, friends, family, home-cookin, kissing, dancing and a little bit of western Kansas wind. All of those things mixed well together to bring us one of the most memorable days of our life. I remember that day, a year ago, now. No stress, just a lot of love and joy. A lot of aliveness. 

So, today we celebrate the beauty of marriage and the memory of a beginning. Happy one year anniversary to Kyle Just, the love of my life. I couldn't have made it through this past year without you. I wouldn't have wanted to. Cheers to many more years. <3 span="">

Kentucky. Kansas. Texas.

In the last three weeks we've gone from Kentucky, to Kansas to Texas. So, we made it through. It seems I have so many things to catch up in the blogging world. Mostly because everything happened at once. These last three weeks have been insane! Tuesday, May 21, we moved from one house to another in Wilmore. As soon as we packed and unpacked, we re-packed so we could leave that Friday to go to Kansas and see Kyle's family. We spent some quality time with his parents and brother's family and then we left on Sunday to head to Dallas for yet another summer with Project Transformation. We  arrived Sunday evening and began leadership training during the last week of May. On June 1, the 101 interns arrived at SMU for check-in. Since last Saturday, we've hardly been able to breathe! It's a good thing, though. We've really enjoyed getting to know the new interns and seeing old friends. Interns trained this entire week and will train for a couple of days next week. Then, we send them off to their sites on Wednesday, June 12!

This summer, my official title with PT is "House Pastor" and Kyle's is "LITE Coordinator." In the past, we've both served as interns and have worked with elementary/youth students in the program. However, this summer is shaping up to be a little bit different. As a LITE Coordinator, Kyle will be working with youth who are too old for the program (10th-12th graders). He will be helping them accrue volunteer hours through PT and will create special programming for them during the weekday afternoons. Through programming, he will assist them in college prep, guide them through spiritual formation and teach them about social justice. He's excited to work with the LITES at Walnut Hill. I am excited he is at Walnut Hill -- my old stomping grounds.

As for me...the job of a house pastor is difficult to describe. On the surface level I am in charge of helping to plan worship, plan community events, take care of dinner volunteers and be a listening ear and mentor for interns. On the flip side (and there is a flip side, trust me) this job is about MUCH more than that. I am also a....motherly type figure, question-answer-er extraordinaire, disciplinarian, liaison, room un-locker (which also makes me a keeper of the keys), etc. At the same time, I am also still a student and a wife. Thankfully, God seems to be giving me grace to complete and be all of those things in this season of my life. It's a lot of fun. It's really draining. It's really life-giving. I'm looking forward to the summer ahead. I will be blogging more this summer, Lord willing. I think that will be my June resolution. We have a lot of great things coming up in June and I have a lot of good thoughts, too, that I want to share. So, look for more blogs this month as a part of my happiness project. I love to write and there are so many good opportunities to write and things to write about, I must seize them!

Catching Up

Holy howdy-doody, Batman. Is it really May? So, I've been the worst blogger ever when it comes to my happiness project. I remember looking at April 1 and May 1 and thinking..."I'll blog tomorrow." This isn't a normal attitude for me, so I must have been really busy with school. Plus, you can't force blogging and trying to make myself blog might have made me unhappy at the time. Which, in turn, seems to defeat the point of a happiness project. But, you'll be glad to know that even though I didn't blog about March, April or May I did/am continuing to do something intentional every month to contribute to my happiness project. So, here's a quick recap. I am supposed to be writing a final paper and am actually busier than ever. But, I got the blog bug and possibly the ramble bug, so here it goes:

March: "Become an advocate for something outside of seminary (and theology for that matter)." So, you guessed it. I researched student loans...especially FedLoans since we've had so much trouble with them. I won't go into detail about all the things I found out. However, I started sending them physical checks since they wouldn't accept our payments online. I make physical copies of all my correspondences with them and even keep physical stamp receipts from the Post Office to show the date we mailed the check. I have tons more to say, so if you're ever in a pickle, ask me and I will find something out for you. A little hint...the magic words (so far) seem to be, "I will contact the FTC if you won't let me pay my student loans." That seems to do the trick. And we really did file a complaint with the FTC (Federal Trade Commission) and FedLoans didn't charge us a late fee while they waited for a physical check to arrive since they wouldn't accept our payment online. Magic. Boom.

April: My goal was to pay attention to Spring. This was a blessing to me. Seriously. Most years I look back when spring has arrived in all its glory and I think to myself, "When did that tree get those leaves?" or "How long have those tulips been there." It's like one day they weren't there and the next they were. For that reason, everyday on my walk to work and class, I paid attention to spring blooming around me. This has been one of my favorite exercises in my happiness project thus far. I got to enjoy the progressiveness of spring this year. I might sound like an old lady, but there's something to be understood about the phrase "Stop and smell the roses." Paying attention to spring was really beautiful and now it's just about gone.

May: My goal this month, which I'm living into, is to observe community and be thankful. We're doing so much stuff with our community of friends this month -- we've already celebrated one of our best friends as he moved back to Virginia. We're also moving in a couple of days and then we are leaving the Asbury community for the summer and joining the PT community in Dallas. So, I love observing the community I am a part of and being thankful for the wonderful people that we call friends. Living into community is easy, but observing it and being thankful is a different discipline.

That's it for now. I will try to be more disciplined when it comes to blogging! I love it and I will be less busy in just a few days. My first year of seminary is coming to a close and that probably deserves a recap. Until then, back to paper writing so I can say that my first year of seminary has officially ended! Woo!

Fun in February

I'm a little late posting about my happiness project for February. I got so worked up about FedLoans last week :). Anyway, for the month of February I went on a "pasta adventure" with Kyle and hosted people in my home. 

The pasta adventure was a lot of fun. Kyle and I love pasta, we seem to have the same things over and over when it comes to pasta, so I was intentional about changing things up. It was a fun experiment and I learned a lot about pasta. Most of the time, we just eat whole wheat thin spaghetti. However, in February, I searched the pasta aisles for some different options and discovered that there is 51% whole wheat pasta, and 3x fiber white pasta. What? 51% whole wheat? Whatever. Here are some of the fun pasta dishes we had during the month of February and a little on into the month of March. 

• Mexican Stuffed Shells (Jumbo Shells!) 
• Spinach Lasagna Roll ups 
• Pesto, Cream Cheese and Chicken Farfalle
• Zucchini Spaghetti with Chicken
• Chicken and Noodles (Using Orzo, one of my favorite pastas!)

Mmm, so yummy. 

As for hosting guests. At the beginning of February, we hosted a "Ground Hog Supper" in our home and invited some of our friends over. The Menu: Sausage, mashed potatoes with sausage gravy, corn, biscuits, applesauce, vanilla ice cream and apple and cherry pie. It was a good night full of food, games and even some serious midnight talks about the power of campus ministry. 

For the month of March, my goal is to find something I'm passionate about (outside of seminary) and become an advocate for it. Until then, see you next month, with a little bit of blogging in-between! 

FedLoan Servicing - Speaking out about the "Worst Servicer Ever"

I finally feel like I have to speak out about this issue -- Kyle and I both have student loans from our undergraduate degrees. I took out loans with Sallie Mae and Kyle's loans were turned over to FedLoans in 2010. While paying on my loans with Sallie Mae, I had no trouble at all. Their website was easy to maneuver and their customer service was excellent. When I went into graduate school, the remainder of my loans went in deferment just in time for us to start paying on Kyle's loans. We've been paying on his loans since November with FedLoan and have had nothing but trouble. We decided that we would control the payments and didn't sign up for automatic debit. When we first set up our account in November, the payment went through, no problem. We set it up with our checking account, made the payment early and things were fine. In December, however, we went to make the same payment a week early, and it said that our account was "invaild." We knew we had more than enough money in the account to pay the loan and we contacted our bank. They couldn't find anything wrong on their end and said they couldn't even see a payment trying to be processed. There was a faulty link somewhere. After that, we got back in touch with FedLoans and told them that we'd already contacted our bank. The customer service representative basically told us that there was nothing that she could do and we needed to figure it out on our own. After that, we tried adding on another account -- our savings this time. The account linked like a charm and we've made payments out of it for the last two months....until today. We tried to make a payment today from our savings and *bam* same problem. The account is all of a sudden "invalid." We again called the service number and tried to make a payment over the phone. Again, both accounts were invalid. We talked to a customer rep and again, there's just "nothing they can do."

Through the frustration of all of this, I Googled "fedloan servicing." Much to my encouragement (and dismay since this appears to be such an issue) I found that Kyle and I are not alone in these types of issues. I've just been reading about scam after scam after scam. Many people have responded with the same concerns and unfortunately there appears to be no answers. I've especially been intrigued by Robert Farrington's writings, which can be found here: http://thecollegeinvestor.com/157/fedloan-servicing-the-worst-student-loan-servicer/. As he's stated, FedLoan appears to be the "Worst Loan Servicer." 

I hope writing about it gives this issue (another) voice. In the meantime, we'll by trying to "figure out" this problem. If anyone has any advice, it would be much appreciated! I hope this can also be a helpful warning and testimony to those working with FedLoans. Make sure to research who you are dealing with! Many of the stories from the link above are much more worrisome than ours!

*Image courtesy of Google search. 

Character and Charisma

In the end, I'm going to have to say that we all have charisma. I've never thought of myself as a person with charisma. If you look at me in a crowd of people, I'm not the cool one. I'm most likely not the one you would be drawn to. This used to really bother me. Until I discovered that I did have a charisma of my own. 

You see, charisma is a unique type of charm that we have to inspire one another, sometimes it's loud and sometimes soft. Either way, loudness and softness don't determine power, character does. If you have charisma and no character then that's the end. Diseased trees produce bad apples and are destined to be cut down sooner or later. 

Find people with good character, if you do, I guarantee you'll also find precious and inspirational charisma.

January Report - Happiness Project 2013

The month of January has about come to an end! I can hardly believe it. As you will recall, I decided to make a resolution for the entire year of 2013 and participate in a Happiness/Wholeness Project in hopes of living a simpler and more intentional life.

With that said, for the month of January I resolved to be more intentional about enjoying the space that I live in, I resolved to do three specific things:

• Sew something meaningful out of something old
• Arrange a kitchen shrine
• Pin-point and display something meaningful in the most used spaces in my home

I am happy to note that I accomplished all three of these goals with great joy and ease. I also accomplished another goal, which I didn't know was a goal until later in the month. First, at the beginning of the month, I started a project that boosted me into my happiness project in the first place. I was dying to sew black and white striped curtains. I had these black sheer curtains that I bought during my sophomore year of college. They were the first curtains I ever bought and they were for my first real apartment that I shared with my roommate, Jessica. These curtains ended up following us along all through college. Now, it seems silly that I would be attached to such curtains, but I really was/am. I loved those curtains, they held fond memories of my homes for the past three years and I couldn't imagine boxing the delicate beauties away. So. I cut them up, bought a sheer cream panel and made new beauts with them. They are meaningful to me and they still hang in my home. 

Second, I decided to arrange a kitchen shrine. When I was in Oregon visiting my aunt over the holidays, I noticed a simple countertop lazy susan she had. Her lazy susan was adorned with meaningful kitchen items used for cooking. It was also hand-painted, colorful and gorgeous. I wanted one, too! I just LOVED it. I searched and searched for one, but couldn't find an affordable one. Then, one day, I ran into a plain, bamboo one. I bought it (it was cheap and I had Christmas money) and I made it my own! It holds all things meaningful to me in my kitchen and it's useful. It holds some really cute vintage salt and pepper shakers I found in Oregon; a cute little bowl of sugar (for tea and other things); a mason jar of hot chocolate given to me by my aunt for Christmas, which is adorned with a piece of cloth from my great-grandmother's scrap collection; another mason jar with my favorite pasta, orzo, in it; and other random cooking commodities: garlic salt, honey and EVOO. This simple shrine brings great joy to my life, especially since I spend so much time in my kitchen.

Last of all, I pin-pointed and displayed something meaningful in both my living room and my bedroom. In the living room: a small golden owl that I got for $2 one time at Hobby Lobby during their fall clearance. He's sits on the shelf, as stylish as ever. Then, in the bedroom, I put my brooch bouquet that I made for my wedding, full of family brooches, on display by my jewelry box. It has rich meaning to me. 

Last of all, I participated in the "January Cure" by Apartment Therapy this month. One of the days, the challenge was to go buy fresh flowers. Flowers/plants generally make your home a happier place, bringing the outdoors in, which is great in a month like January. When I was at Kroger, I bought some baby's breath for $2, put it in a mason and set it on display in my living room. So reminiscent of mine and Kyle's wedding. Ahh. 

It seems silly that all these things really did make me happier. Enjoying being intentional, though, is what made me the happiest. I took notice of things that are meaningful to me in my space every single day.

For the month of February, I've decided to focus on...you guessed it: Love. I'm going to explore ways to be more intentional about showing love, kindness and hospitality to Kyle and to my friends. Two specific goals: go on a pasta adventure with Kyle; host guests. Will report back in a month with some random blogging inbetween - for now, enjoy some photos!